Trigger warning for rape/sexual assault/paedophilia
This is a blog post for all the rapists and paedophiles out there. Next time you are planning on sexually assaulting a four-year-old child—even if you plead guilty—there is a surefire way to make sure you are discharged without conviction.
See, according to Judge Philippa Cunningham, you just need to be “a talented New Zealander” who “makes people laugh”. Because “laughter’s an incredible medicine that we all need a lot of.”
We need laughter more than we need to protect our children from being sexually abused, apparently.
Here we have a man who pleaded guilty to performing an indecent act on a child (after originally being charged with unlawful sexual connection with a person aged under 12). Here we also have a judge who, despite this plea, has discharged him without conviction—which means, despite pleading guilty, this will not appear on his criminal record—because the consequences of a conviction would outweigh the gravity of the offence.
Take note, abusers. If you’re famous and funny and talented, it’s totally okay to sexually abuse your child. Because we need more laughter in the world, and that’s more important than convicting people who sexually assault children.
Also just a housekeeping note, because this has already cropped up on the SlutWalk Aotearoa Facebook page: while this case and everything surrounding it makes me fucking furious, the permanent name suppression does stand and as such, comments that name the comedian in question (rightly or wrongly) will not make it through moderation.